Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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