I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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