I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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