Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
