Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
