no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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