so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize