We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
