Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
