yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
