Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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