Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
is that a dick in a sweater?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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