So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
