but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
