The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We left the knife in your bed.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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