Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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