Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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