He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
