check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
