Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize