He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize