I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
