I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize