Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
