what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
