if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
