Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So much Jack, so little girl.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
