Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Randomize
