I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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