Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
