high people should be assigned attendants
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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