Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
