I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
