My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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