I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
no, he came in my armpit
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
where are my eyebrows?
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