Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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