Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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