why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
pray to the hookup gods
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
