I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
