Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
