u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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