I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The feeling are messing with the penis
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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