That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
