like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
