I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
