Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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