he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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