you mean i was at the winter classic?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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