I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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