I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
