i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
