Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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