So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
