yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
operation harelip BJ is a go
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i think i just lost a toe
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
