Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
