we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
